Appreciation

It is amazing how when you have a service that you need to cancel, the people treat you so nice because they don't want to lose you as a customer. I actually like the service but due to financial reasons, I need to start cutting back. And plus I was wasting services because three of the services I used are free. But needless to say, I am not complaining because it is nothing wrong with showing your appreciation to your customers. I wish more companies were like this. In this time of unemployment and mortgage crisis among our losses, it is time to cut costs and do the best we can until God works it out for your better. The service I am talking about is MSN9 internet service. I already have comcast because of their cable and their bundle services. Anyhoo, what services or experiences do you have with cancelling services, why and what was their response to you? Let us know. Surabi

What Would You Do?

I watched a program that brought the perpetrators of crimes together with the victim or the victim's family of the said crime. I always wondered what would I do if that happened to me. How would I react seeing someone who hurt my loved one or friend and cost them greatly? I watched an episode of Oprah yesterday and they had three families on their who were the family members of a victim of death by either murder or accident. On the first part, the victims were under 18 and one was killed with a baseball bat after he taunted and bullied a younger boy who was 100 pounds lighter than himself and 6 inches shorter. It was sad because one boy is gone and the other one is in juvenile detention for 12 years. In the other story, a young man drag racing killed a mother and her young daughter. And the last one was an accident by children playing a game. Needless to say, the perpetrators or their families got to hear each others story. I can't say I would have reacted as well as they did because I can't imagine the hurt and pain I would feel to know that my loved one is gone and the one who caused their death is alive. But if it was my loved one who was the perpetrator, then I really don't know how I would react because I wouldn't know how to approach the victims family. Well, what do you think you do if you were in either position?

keep grinding

My nephews have a saying that no matter what, you have to keep grinding. Basically that means to keep on doing what you need to do to get where you need to get to. It is not easy to do something when things just are not working out. It seems the best laid plans can go awry and stick you with a choke hold like you have never seen before. But I say let's just keep on keeping on. I was looking for something to work out at a certain time, but amazingly when it did not work out, every other plan was thrown under the bus. But like my nephews say, keep grinding. I gotta keep on doing what I need to do. Until I talk to you again, I say to you keep on grinding and you will get where you want to be. Surabi

feeling used and stupid

Do you ever feel used and stupid? Sometimes it feels that it is better to just leave and go somewhere where you don't know anyone and let people fend for themselves. I feel used and stupid based on the fact that someone does not want to suffer a little bit and get themselves together and take care of themselves. They want to do it the easy way and put pressure on other people who can't handle it. Why do people think that other people have it so much better than they do? It amazes me that people actually believe that. Or maybe it is because they are doing what they want and could care less about what you are dealing with. It really hurts to feel that no one really cares for you and that they only want something to do with you when you have something to do for them. Deep down this is what I feel because when I go through things, there is no one but God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and if you think that that is all anyone needs, I got a newsflash for you, YOU ARE WRONG AND EVEN MORE STUPID THAN ME. If that were so God would not make a whole bunch of people to live on this earth together. He would have let it with just him. So anyhoo! I am not looking for sympathy, just asking a question. I guess it will always work out in the end. I understand when people want to kill themselves. I don't see how anyone can talk them out of it because with the way things are in this world, it is not going to get any better. And please don't insult my intelligence with if you commit suicide, you will go to hell. Giving that ignorant answer will do about the same. Needless to say, if you have not died or known someone who has and went to hell from suicide, then remain quiet. Tell Jesus. He understands. Well, dont' mention what you have been taught because Hitler taught his followers that blacks and Jews were the lowest form of life and the most ignorant and that the world was better off without them. So we can't go by what someone else says unless we subscribe to everything they said. Well I gotta go because I have to prepare my mind for this school work. Hope to hear from you soon. Surabi

Fantasy

What type of things do you fantasize about? I have always had a wild imagination, which has helped me to deal with a lot of things in life that were too traumatic for me to confront off the bat. But what I fantasize about most is being another person. People say that maybe if you are not satisfied about yourself you want to be someone else. BUt I don't want to be someone else or another person,per se, because I fantasize about me being the greatest me or a different me, but still the core me. Without all of the limitations that I face in life, I create my own in my world. Sometimes it helps me to get through a day that seems frustrating and disruptive. I am the first to admit that sometimes I check out of this life and dream about my own dreams. Of course I have to bring myself back to deal with life, but sometimes I am a different me and I love it.

I began doing this as a young girl who experienced sexual and physical abuse and an unhappy childhood full of domestic violence and forced trips to a church that is now considered harsh. Although I did love to learn about Jesus, as I feel that it is the best gift that any parent can give their child or children, I felt that it was forced upon us instead of introduced to us and learning how to appreciate it. THrough the experiences of my life, the drug addictions,teen pregnancies,domestic violence, arrests, etc., I have managed to live through them with the help of Jesus, but with my imagination as well.

I bet you are wondering what type of things a child can imagine, especially when I was 5 years old when I started. Because of the teachings that I heard about with Jesus, I used to take my dolls out to the back yard and speak life to them, as if they would come alive. But I believe it based on what I was taught. This is why now I believe that I can believe God for anything because faith is like that. But my childlike faith has helped me now to have the gift of faith. Anywho, I used to pretend that I was in the Mickey Mouse Club. I put on my sheet hair (my play play hair because I was little low on the hair) and dance and sing till I was tired. I know you are wondering how could I have been gone that long and no one noticed me? Well, we grew up in a emotionless family basically and it was 6 of us, so I was the one no one noticed. The forgotten one. But that is ok because although it helped me to deal with being alone, I was a little distant from many things and people in my life who I wish I could have spent more time with before.

Needless to say, what are your thoughts on your fantasies and dreams and hopes and how do you deal with life sometimes.

Never Gone Change

I am amazed that we still have issues with racism in America and anywhere. I still can't believe that people waste their time with such simple things as I don't like you because of the color of your skin, where you live, your educational background, and what your religious or sexual preference is. Why oh Why do we aggravate ourselves with such ignorance? And where oh where did our little brain go? Needless to say, with layoffs on the jobs, children, men and women being abused, people running scams and schemes, people dying left and right, families being broken up and the constant threat of terrorism and lying politicians and pedophiles, why oh why do we waste valuable time and energy with things that don't matter a bit. I personally don't give a hoot about negative people, but we need to pray because this ish gotta stop. Until next time, get a life and keep it with something that is more fulfilling like living life like it is your last day on earth. Or should I say the best you can because if I knew it was my last day on earth, I would eat as much chinese food and pizza hut I could and run around in my birthday suit telling people to kiss it. (LOL) Just kidding on the naked part. Let me get going because it is late at night and I just finished a report for my Ph.D. on Minority and National Trends. The basic discussion was on the racial disparities of blacks and Latinos in the criminal justice area called corrections.

Now I am not going to start trouble, but it amazes me that with blacks and Latinos making up a little more than whites on the overall population of the United States, blacks and Latinos lead the AIDS/HIV infections, poverty, lack of education, disadvantaged living, teen pregnancy, single female households, etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah and all of that. Somebody is lying and they need to sit down with that load of poppy cock. This is why racism and institutionalized racism will never stop because even our researchers are lying. How could the minorities make up all of the negative stereotypes except being on welfare, but are less than the the total population put together. Now this ish has got to stop before I go postal on somebody. Just kidding about the postal part. Perhaps. But I did go postal on a few polic officers one time or two. I could not take it. You see one time I was riding down the street with some family members after a book publishing opening and I took off my wig so I looked like a fat black man. The police pulled me over and before I got out, I prayed to Jesus so that I would not go nuts and get hauled into jail or dead through justifiable homicide, the police officers favorite method of killing the innocent. Needless to say, I read him and the other officers the riot act about being racist, even though one of them was black. But I had gift for him too; I told him he was not black, he was a cop. That mystified him. He shut up and they all left after they wrote me a ticket for having one window tinted too dark. Before yall go thinking that I am a racist, I hate to say this because it has been labeled a racist statement, but one of best friends is a white police officer. She is a wonderful friend I might add. ? But this amazing racist bull and institutionalized racism needs Jesus and the Holy Spirit before someone goes postal. Well, anyhoo, I need to go and get some rest because i got some little bay bays here for the summer. Kudos and Adios. I'll Be Back!!!

What Are Your Thoughts About the Presidential Race?

My ideas about the Presidential Race is that I was at first excited about Barack Obama being the President. But now I think he is the typical politician. He denounces things that he thinks people will not condone or understand. He is a butt kisser and it does not matter who is the president, both of them, McCain and Obama are lame to me. Anything is better than President Bush is what I believe America is saying. Barack is no better than Hilary. He is the flake just from a different brand. Just my opinion. If truth be told, he is getting ridiculous addressing every negative thing said about him. First it was his Pastor, who mind you gave him spiritual guidance for years, then it was the different postings made about him, now it is Bernie Mac's jokes and the The New Yorker publication.
Give it a rest Barack. You are just a whiny baby who cries about everything instead of taking the high road and shutting up and keep minding the store you are trying to build in the American Presidency legacy. Just thinking. Surabi

welcome

Hi: Just wanted to drop a line to say hello to everyone. I am so excited about having a place to share my thoughts and express myself. I will drop by tomorrow and let you all in on what I am thinking. Until then, kudos to you for checking out this blog.